


when the party's over

by Heavydirtys0ul



Series: the billie eilish tapes [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 22:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17837180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavydirtys0ul/pseuds/Heavydirtys0ul
Summary: Virgil had a good night, but finding his best friend crying on the couch will really sober a guy up. (Ace!Logan)





	when the party's over

Virgil had lost everyone he’d come with to this party, as expected. Roman was likely to be off flirting with as many men as possible, and Patton was probably with his boyfriend amongst the dancing bodies. Logan was probably drinking his weight in alcohol; strangely he was the drinker of the bunch, something none of them had expected but have now grown used too. 

He’d had a good night but alcohol makes him tired and that was pretty much all he’d turned up to do, the likelihood of him pulling a Roman and starting to actually talk to people was next to zilch even  _with_  the liquid confidence.  He shoots the others a text as he heads out the door, still clutching a bottle of Kopparberg for keepsake and starts his journey two streets away to his shared flat. 

He doubted either Roman or Patton would be home before sunrise, Logan probably would be, people weren’t his thing either and whilst Roman will take any attractive guy (or multiple) for a night, the younger was more of a “There for the free alcohol,” sort of guy. The Apocolypse might come if Logan actually took interest in anyone (”It’s not that I don’t find the idea of a relationship enticing, so to speak, it’s that it takes a while for me to have a relationship and my work is more important”).

Humming the tune that had been playing when he’d left, the youngest of the four unlocks the door, taking a swig of his drink and walking (surprisingly, not stumbling) into the house with a content expression. It takes him a moment to realize the lights are on and then another to realize he can hear crying. Sobering up faster than he normally could, he places the bottle on the cabinet and moves into the living room. “Hello?” He asked gently. 

The first thing he noticed was that it was Logan, his still alcohol-induced brain pointing this out with excitement for some reason. The second was that Logan was crying. Logan never cries, not even when he’s drunk (Which looking at the state of him, is  _very_ ) “Logan, dude, are you okay?” Worry settles in next as he sits next to the other, reaching out a hand but not touching him. 

Logan wipes his eyes and sits up, his hair is sticking up everywhere, his eyes are red-ringed and glasses smudged and steamed up. It’s scary to see him like this, Logan never cries, Logan  _has_  never cried at least not in front of Virgil. “Sorry Virgil, I…” He trails off as though he doesn’t even know what to say and his voice sounds gravelly, sore, he’d been crying for a while. “Sorry,”

“L, you don’t have to apologize for crying,” He holds out his arms for the other and he sniffs before giving a small smile and sinking into his arms. “You can talk to me if you want too, but if you don’t want to it’s fine, just let me know if there’s anything I can do,” There’s a long silence in which Logan sniffles and wipes his eyes, thinking.   


“I..” His voice cracks “Got shouted at,” Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed, this wasn’t something new, many people shout at Logan, he’s eccentric and very straight-forward and not everyone likes that about him; it’s never bothered Logan before, was it simply because he was drunk that this had upset him? “Do you have any more alcohol?”   


“I do, but the answer’s no,” Virgil gives Logan’s arm a quick squeeze “That’s only going to make you feel worse, alcohol is a depressant,” The elder exhales shakily and nods before he sits up slowly and wipes his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he starts to talk. 

“Roman always says that sex is great and he talks about it and his sexual encounters extensively,” Virgil can already feel his stomach sinking. “So I tried to do it, tonight, but I couldn’t, I panicked, it felt awful and I asked him to stop and he did but he wasn’t happy about it, he started shouting and swearing at me,” Virgil cussed under his breath. “And I just…I have so many questions about how sex is supposed to feel because surely it’s not supposed to feel as if I’m dying,”

“Logan I’m so sorry, you should’ve come and found me I would’ve beat the shit out of him,” Logan shakes his head and offers a weak smile “Okay I would’ve got Roman to beat the shit out of him, you got me,” a soft and dry laugh escapes Logan and he gives a slightly more comfortable smile, acknowledging that he was safe with Virgil properly now the fuzz of the alcohol has started to wear away.   


It’s rare Logan seeks affirmation or comfort, it’s rare anything really upsets the other, between them they often joked that he didn’t feel anything at all and Logan had been happy to play along, but now Virgil feels like that was just an excuse to not have to show even his best friends that he can be vulnerable. Logan takes Virgil’s hand and squeezes it. 

“Sexuality can be complicated Logan,” Virgil speaks finally, the joking faded away as he meets the other man’s eyes. “It could be a case of it just wasn’t the right guy, you might not be into guys, you might not have to have an actual connection with someone or you might not like sex at all,”   


“I…I’ve never really experienced a sexual attraction to someone,” He mutters “Romantically yes, and romantically I’m attracted to men, but I didn’t realize there was such thing as not experiencing sexual attraction,” His eyes are tearing up again and he pulls off his glasses and wipes his eyes. A long exhale escapes him and he leans back against the couch.   


“It’s called Asexuality Logan,” Virgil supplies “And it’s okay, many people feel the same as you do,” He really needed to be around for Logan more often, there was clearly an entire side to him that they’d all thought to be nonexistent. “You can look it up and stuff, maybe go along with Patton to the LGBT group, you’re homoromantic after all so they can’t say that you don’t have a right to be there, some groups can be…toxic about it, but if Patton goes there’s no way he’d stand for exclusionists,” The elder nods and gives a smile. 

“Thank you Virgil,” He’s surprised by the hug, Logan himself is surprised he gives it, but he does and the two remain cuddled up to each other on the couch until they fall asleep.   


–

“You two are so gay,” Roman announces at 10AM in the morning, looking like he’d just walked from a teen romcom scene called “the afterparty”. He’s wearing sunglasses, and for a moment Virgil gets him confused with Remy, Patton’s boyfriend. “Can’t believe you were having a cuddle session without me,” Patton shakes his head at the other, giving a smile.   


“I’ll make us some breakfast,” Virgil can hear Remy gasping and chasing after the other, and his own stomach grumbles at the mention of Patton’s breakfast (Homemade pancakes, every time, with syrup).

Logan stirs on his chest, cheeks going red at the sudden audience and burrowing his face into Virgil’s chest. “My head hurts,” He finally says, muffled by Virgil’s jacket. 

“Well yeah, you were drinking like a fish last night, more than usual, I honestly thought you might die of alcohol poisoning but then I noticed someone else was taking care of you,” Roman sits cross-legged on the floor. “So who was he? Did you get his number,”   
  


“Roman, shut up,” Virgil growls, giving him a warning look. The elder physically recoils until Logan finally lifts up his face and the realization sinks in.   


“Oh dear, bad date?” He frowns, eyebrows furrowing. “I’ll go get you some aspirin and some tea and then we can have a chat about it LoLo,” Logan usually hates the nickname, but in this situation, it feels comforting to have that familiarity as the night’s events playback. He feels so weak and vulnerable and he  _hates_  that.   


True to his word Roman disappears and returns with a hot mug of tea and some aspirin, Logan sits up and accepts them with a tired smile; he doesn’t even want to know how he looks right now. “If you want to talk about it, then we can talk Logan, no jokes, no witty quips, just seriousness,” Logan nods and looks at Virgil, who runs his back “Or would you rather talk to us altogether?” Logan nods and sips the tea. “Okay, after breakfast?” He nods again. 

“Remy can stay also,” He mutters “He’s our friend after all,”  


–

Logan crosses his legs on the sofa as Virgil sits next to him, Patton sits on Remy’s lap on the floor and Roman makes himself comfortable next to them. “Last night, I tried to…” He trails off and he looks at Virgil, panic written all over his face, the other man moves closer and places an arm around his shoulder warmly. “I tried to have sex, and I can’t…do it,” He sighs, “I thought maybe I’d just give it a go and if I didn’t like it well it wouldn’t be the end of the world, I didn’t think I’d be so…scared,” Roman swallows dryly and his gaze softens. 

“Logan has anyone actually given you any sort of sex talk? Explained that you don’t have to have sex if you don’t want too? Explained that for some it can be much more emotionally taxing than others?” The man blinks before his cheeks flush and he shakes his head, Roman cusses under his breath. “Logan casual sex is not a thing for everyone, sex permanently is not a thing for everyone, if you weren’t 100% sure you wanted to do it then you shouldn’t have thrown yourself into that situation, no-one would expect you to be okay,” Roman’s not angry at Logan, but he’s angry that he completely failed to help Logan with something that was so completely his area of expertise, and he’s angry that no-one taught him properly. 

“I didn’t know,” He says quietly, and it’s probably the first time any of them had heard Logan say those set of words and somehow this makes it more heartbreaking. “I asked him to stop and he got angry, he didn’t physically hurt me, but I thought he might,” Roman buries his face in his hands, known for his temper it was now a true test for him to control his anger at this unnamed man.   


“That’s not…” Roman trails off “I’m so sorry Logan,” He pauses “That’s not how that’s supposed to go down, people aren’t supposed to be angry at you for not wanting to have sex with them,” Now he just looks defeated “You shouldn’t have had to go through that,”  


“it’s normal to not want to always have sex, even to not have sex at all,” Patton finally chirps up, his face previously deep in thought as he processed all the information he was being handed. “And I’m sorry we made you feel as though you couldn’t approach us for advice,”   


“Yeah dude, that’s really rough, I couldn’t imagine having to go through that all in one night,” Remy agrees, pushing his sunglasses up his head so the other could see the sincerity written on his face “I know I haven’t known you as long, but I consider us friends and, if you ever need to talk about something please don’t hold back in fear of your own vulnerability, I used to do that too and it doesn’t…end in a happy road if you keep doing it,”  


Logan nods with a small smile, “I think I might be asexual,” He finally concludes with a sigh “I just don’t…I don’t experience sexual attraction and there’s more research I need to do and things like that but, for now, it’s what feels comfortable,” Virgil smiles and gives a comforting squeeze to his arm “And I think in future I might be more open to actually…discussing my feelings,” 

“Thank you for telling us Lo,” Roman says gently, “And please don’t think that you can’t talk to us about these things because we discuss it with each other all the time, we’re happy for you to do the same,”  


“I know it’s not as easy for you as it is for us, but we’re always going to be here when you’re ready,” Patton adds and Virgil nods.   


“We love you L, no matter what,” Logan can feel himself tearing up again and he’ll blame it on the hangover as he leans his head on Virgil’s shoulder, uttering a soft “thank you,” as he does. He’d never really felt so loved in his life. 


End file.
